


You've Changed

by Fortisfiliae



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Angst, Character Development, Eventual Smut, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Growing Up, Post Hogwarts AU
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-02
Updated: 2018-03-03
Packaged: 2019-03-12 18:35:49
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,967
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13553214
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fortisfiliae/pseuds/Fortisfiliae
Summary: An AU taking place in 1985, the Marauders being in their mid twenties, where Peter didn’t become the Potters’ secret keeper and therefore didn’t betray his friends, but Voldemort is still out there.Main character Amy McConnell meets Sirius Black again, seven years after Hogwarts and realizes, he hasn’t changed a bit. Or has he?





	1. Wolfsbane Potion

November was almost over and winter had settled in London eventually, covering Diagon Alley in just enough snow to make the shops look like glazed gingerbread houses.  
Amy rushed along the street, the block heels of her shoes thumped quickly against the cobblestone ground, when she squeezed through groups of people, who strolled there as well, though much slower and more relaxed than she was. When she finally reached her desired spot, she opened the door to J. Pippin’s Potions, stepped in and shut it behind her swiftly, still bringing in the crisp air from outside.

Mr. Cavenar, who cleaned glass containers behind the counter, with his back facing the entrance, didn’t even have to turn around, as he recognized her by her hitched breathing, and greeted: “Morning Amy. You’ve still got fifteen minutes until we open, no need to hurry.”

“I know Leonard, thanks”, she sighed as she opened up the buttons of her coat. “But you know that I hate being late. Also I need coffee before we get started.”

He chuckled and shook his head slightly as he put the bottles back into the cabinet, took his wand from his pocket and sent a tired wave towards the door of the small break room, which swung open creakingly, making room for the two steaming mugs, that floated his way.  
“I prepared”, he said complacently and took one of them, while the other one drifted past him, to Amy.

“Thanks boss, you’re the best”, she cooed and caught hers with both hands, took a deep breath to inhale each spectrum of its scent, as she always did, before she took her first sip.

Time passed quickly until noon, as the customers came and left. Leonard advised them in his specialty, which were toiletry and body care potions - him being a real good example of how to use them wisely, as his slightly grey hair was the only indication of his 60th birthday coming up - while Amy sold mostly medicine. She enjoyed that people were more calm than usual, the Christmas spirit soothed their minds and the annual hectic of getting presents, hadn’t taken over yet.

When there was nobody left in line anymore, Amy pulled out invoices to do some paperwork, until she heard the front door opening again and Leonard called: “Your special customer’s here again.”  
She raised her head and saw Remus Lupin coming her way, eyebrows wiggling when their eyes met, as he held the healer’s receipt ready and swung it like a million galleon lottery ticket.  
She put down her quill and smiled at him, the way old friends did. They weren’t old friends exactly - firstly they weren’t old, secondly they weren’t friends.  
But she had known him since school, where they have shared some hours of patrolling as prefects together and every time he came to buy his medicine, she got that nostalgic feeling, reminding her of her teenage years. So semi-old acquaintances, maybe? 

There was someone walking behind him, who she didn’t recognize at first, but as he strolled casually along the aisles of mixtures, his leather jacket half open, despite the cold weather, one hand in the pocket of his jeans, the other one running through his dark hair, which was slightly shorter than she remembered, Amy knew it had to be Sirius Black.  
He looked good. Too good, she had to admit. Still as carelessly charming as he did seven years ago, topped with a stubble that made his facial features look even more defined. His reputation of ‘angel’s face with devil’s hands’ was seemingly still appropriate, even if she never got a chance to confirm the latter.

“May I help you with something, sir?”, Cavenar asked in his polite salesman manner.

“Yeah, no, thank you. I’m just escorting him”, he answered and pointed to his friend, before his glance fell on Amy, who was already chatting with Remus, had taken his receipt and put his money into the register.

“Come on then”, she said and took him to the office, where they handled all of the businesses that demanded more secrecy.

Sirius followed them as well and walked past Amy, who was holding the door open for Remus, smirking at her confused expression and whispered: “Hi there.”

“Sorry, you can’t come in here. It’s a private matter we’re dealing with”, she told him and showed no intention of closing the door, while he was still in with them.

“Ah, don’t worry, I’m aware of his ‘private matter’. Time of the month is on its way again”, he answered and leaned his back against the wall.

Amy’s eyes wandered over to Remus, who nodded in approval, so she closed the door shrugging and intended to walk over to the cauldron with Wolfsbane potion, when Sirius said: “Wait a minute. I know you from somewhere. Where do I know her from, Rem?”

Remus chuckled before he answered: “That’s Amelina McConnell. She was in our year back in school.”

“Amy’s fine”, she intervened and offered her hand to Sirius, who shook it gently, but didn’t let go as he continued talking.  
“Indeed, Amy’s fine”, he smirked. “I knew I’ve seen this pretty face somewhere. Hufflepuff, right?”

She fought the urge to roll her eyes at his bold way of talking, as she looked down to their hands, which still held on to each other. Hasn’t changed a bit since school.  
“Hufflepuff indeed, Black”, she said and pulled back, when he started to draw circles on her skin with his thumb.

She knew that he scanned her body, could feel his eyes on her backside, when she walked past them, towards the cauldrons, yet refused to give in to the drive of pulling her shirt down and pants back up in place. 

“Ah, sorry Remus, it isn’t quite ready yet. Our orders were delivered late. Needs one more day to simmer. I can give you a daily ration of our reserve stock though”, she offered as she stirred the liquid slowly and looked over to him.

“No worries, I’m planning ahead. I’ve still got some left for the next days”, Remus reassured. “I’ll come back tomorrow.”

“Alright”, she said and went to open the office door for them to exit. “See you then. Take care.” 

They both nodded to her, Remus’ expression was warm and friendly, while Sirius’ glare sent a spark her way, that could have melted ice. Womanizer.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

The next day went by pretty fast, as Amy was mostly occupied with filling finished potions into dose-appropriate bottles, weighing and measuring them repeatedly, to make sure they were safe for use. She prepared most of the pre-orders, including Remus’ Wolfsbane potion, which was finally ready. 

When she went back to the counter, to check if Leonard needed help, Sirius entered the store and she assumed Remus would follow. He didn’t, so Amy frowned in suspicion, while Sirius held eye contact with her, the whole way from the entrance to the counter.

“Where’s Remus?”, she asked bluntly.

“Hi, nice to see you too. He’s busy and asked me to pick up his stuff. Now that you know you can trust me”, he answered.

“Not quite sure about that, but okay”, she said jokingly and earned a grin from him, before she turned around to enter the office and waited for him to follow.

“Here you are, a monthly dose. He knows how to use it”, she told him and handed over an opaque paper bag, filled with thirty small vials.

“Thanks”, Sirius said and followed her steps, back to the door, leading to the front area. “Oh yeah, wait, before I forget. I wanted to ask you something.”

She rested her hand on the door handle and turned around to face him, asking: “What’s that?”

“Can you apparate?”

“What?”

“It’s no shame if you can’t, there are many people who-”

“I can. But why do you want to know that?”

“Well, we’re having dinner at James’ and Lily’s tonight, with Remus and Peter and they wanted me to ask you to come. It would be necessary for you to apparate to Godric’s Hollow, unless you want to go on a four hour train ride, or something like that. If you want to come, in the first place.”

“Um… I’m not sure why they would invite me to dinner. I haven’t seen anyone, except for Remus and you in years.”

“Well that’s the reason. Lily and Remus talked about you being a fellow prefect and that they haven’t seen a lot of people from school in a long time. Come on. For old times’ sake?”, his eyes turned from wolf to puppy in a second.

“Okay, I guess?”, she gave in and let her hand wander up to her neck.

“Great. 8 p.m. Here’s their address”, he said, his wolfish smirk back in place, and placed a piece of paper into her other one, that’s been resting on the handle, squeezing her balled fist softly, while opening the door himself.

“See you then”, she mumbled as he left with a wink.


	2. Dinner Disclosure

Piles of clothes were spread everywhere across Amy’s bedroom, after she desperately tried to find the perfect outfit for dinner with her former school mates. She needed something that said ‘I got my life together, but I’m still having the best time of my life’, even if she knew, both of these statements were only partly true.  
Would this black skintight dress be too formal? The others have always been rather casual back then, but were they still like that? Another reminder of how little she actually knew about the Gryffindors she once shared classes with, since none of them made an effort to stay in contact. Not that they were obligated to, Amy couldn’t be bothered to try either, because they haven’t been friends in Hogwarts - just students that happened to be in the same year and got along without any noteworthy incidents. They haven’t been friends, so why would they invite her anyway?

‘Screw it’, she thought and went with the first things she had tried, a pair of pitch black skinny jeans, a burgundy blouse, her cream coat and a pair of every-day black ankle boots, before she cast a tidying spell, that made the mountains of unused clothing float back neatly into the wardrobe.  
She fished the piece of paper with Lily’s and James’ address out of the back pocket of her working trousers, took a deep breath to concentrate, before she closed her eyes and disapparated.

Amy arrived directly at their doorstep, as she had intended.  
‘Still got it, not a bit rusty’, she thought, as she raised her hand to knock on the door, but ended up hesitating, wondering if she really was welcome - for Godric’s sake, she didn’t even know anyone in there properly.  
What if she wouldn’t connect with this group of best friends? What if they had no topics to talk about, resulting in awkward silence, while cutlery scratched on dirty plates?  
She quickly shook off those thoughts, they had invited her, after all. It would be fine. And if not, she could leave and never had to see anyone, except for Remus, again. So she exhaled sharply and finally knocked three times.

The door swung open, Sirius standing in the frame. “Thought you’d never knock”, he said jokingly. “Second guessing?”

“Reconsidering maybe”, she said with a slight smile, as she stepped in. “Did you watch me?”

“I heard you apparating outside and came, to check who it was”, Sirius told her and pointed at the spyhole. “Hello by the way”, he added and leant in to air kiss each of her cheeks, his stubble ghosting her skin.

“Hi”, she breathed in between them, wondering when this form of greeting has become a thing, while she unbuttoned her coat.

“Let me help you with that”, he said and took it off her shoulders. “The others are in the living room, over there.”

Amy went through the half open door into the cosy room, which had a nice little fireplace next to two small sofas, some bookshelves in the corner and a dinner table on the other side of it. Remus was leaning against a chair, talking to James, both turning their heads her way, when she approached them.  
Each of the two shook her hand and pulled her a little closer by the shoulder, greeting her with a warm hug - no air kisses this time.

Before they could start talking, Amy felt something gripping her pinky and pulling on it. She turned around and looked down to a small boy, who was without doubt the Potters’ son. Every inch of his face, including his wild black hair and a mini version of round glasses, looked like an exact copy of James, except for the green eyes - they were Lily’s. He was about one meter tall, reaching a little bit above her hips, so Amy squatted to match his size.

“Hi there”, she said as he still held her pinky, yet didn’t look into her eyes as she spoke.

“Who are you?”, he asked and swung her hand from left to right gently.

“I’m Amy. And who are you?”

“Harry”, he said with a grin, before he finally made eye contact again. “Are you uncle Padfoot’s girlfriend?”

“What?”, she laughed. “Who is uncle Padfoot?”

Harry turned around and pointed at Sirius, who just entered the living room, making Amy raise her brows, which led Harry to giggle, swinging her hand more powerfully.

“No, I’m not his girlfriend. Why did you think that?”, she asked.

He let her hand go and began to explain, using various gestures to emphasize his words: “Uncle said a new friend would come today. And you’re a girl, you know. A friend who is a girl, is a girlfriend, obviously.”

James and Remus snorted at his cute answer and Amy bit back her laughter, saying: “Sounds very logical to me. Maybe your Dad will explain what a girlfriend is, some time.”

Sirius joined them and ruffled up Harry’s hair even more. “What are you guys talking about?”

“Girlfriends”, Harry told him and clumsily tried to fix the mess on his head.

Amy stood up laughing and looked over to Remus and James, who have been watching them amusedly.

“Lily’s in the kitchen, if you want to say Hello”, James whispered to her and gave her a chance to escape, before Harry would demand more details regarding girlfriends. She smiled thankfully and pointed to the door on the other side of the room, raising her brows questioningly, to which James nodded.

Entering the kitchen, Amy found Lily preparing dinner, surrounded by steaming pots and pans, some already cleaning themselves in the sink. She clearly knew how to combine muggle and wizard cooking, as she effortlessly swung her wand, as well as a wooden spoon.

“Sorry to interrupt you”, Amy raised her voice, to not get drowned by the steaming and sizzling sounds from the stove. “Can I help out somehow?”

“Oh hi Amy”, Lily cooed, turning her way and greeted her with a small hug. “No way you’re helping, you’re our guest.”

“Alright then. Thank you for the invitation by the way. I wouldn’t have thought that Remus and you wanted me to drop by”, Amy mentioned.

“Remus and I?”, Lily asked, before she dipped a spoon into the pot with gravy and gave it a taste.

“Yeah, Sirius said you wanted to meet again. Because we were fellow prefects back in school.”

“Oh… Right. I think Sirius may have fibbed you there. He was the one who asked us if he could invite you.”

“What?”

“Yes, actually I wasn’t really sure about bringing someone new to our house, given the circumstances. But Remus and him assured that you’re trustworthy. So we agreed and we’re happy to have you here now.”

Great start. They didn’t even want her to come and now she was there, a gatecrasher, untrustworthy at that. She could already sense the awkward silence that was going to linger during dinner.

“I’m really sorry. I can leave if you want. Sirius told me… He… That git”, Amy struggled for words, her embarrassment spreading in dark red on her cheeks.

Lily took a step towards her, trying to calm her down: “No, stay. Please. As I said, I’m really happy to have you and we all need a breath of fresh air in here. If I really didn’t want you to come, I wouldn’t have let him invite you.”

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Peter arrived just in time for dinner, the others joking about his bad habit of always being late, but never late for food. He shook Amy’s hand quickly, his skin was sweaty and he seemed tired, yet jittery. She remembered how Peter has always been the shyest of the group, in school. He had been chubby back then, still was somehow, but he looked like he had lost some weight recently.

They sat down at the table, three people at each long side of it and Harry at the top, in his highchair. Lily sat next to him, with James and Peter on one side, while Amy sat on the opposite, Sirius to her left and Remus to her right.

Lily had really outdone herself with the dinner she prepared, it was delicious. While everyone munched on it, they talked about the things they have been up to since Hogwarts.

James had ditched his Quidditch career, because he didn’t want to show himself in public all the time and had become an Auror for the ministry, while Lily stayed at home with Harry, for now.  
Remus worked at Being Division, Peter at Obliviator Headquarters - both in the ministry as well, making Amy wonder how 75 percent of the infamous marauders managed to get those jobs.  
Sirius told that he had also applied as Auror, but got rejected each time, due to his family’s reputation of glorifying dark magic. He eventually accepted the ministry’s decision and started a business as a tattoo artist, after apprenticing enchanted body art.

They wanted to know how Amy got her job at J. Pippin’s Potions, so she explained that she went to Greenock, straight after Hogwarts.  
Professor Slughorn had offered her to go there and get vocational training in Potions, from his dear friend Ilona Marth. A chance she couldn’t deny, so she accepted and had been living there for two years.

“So you’re a Potions master now, right?”, Remus asked, as he put the last bit of mashed potatoes on his fork.

“I am, yes. And sort of a Mediwizard too, as they go hand in hand”, Amy replied.

“And you never thought about teaching in Hogwarts?”, Lily asked impressed.

“Not really. I wanted to experience the ‘real life’ outside of school for a while. Maybe some day, but as far as I know, they got Severus as a Potions master at Hogwarts now.”

“Gosh, Snape”, Sirius mumbled before sipping on his wine.

“Yeah, I think we can agree not to talk about Snivellus again”, James jokingly added.

“James”, Lily rolled her eyes at him and got up to pick up Harry from his chair, before she went upstairs with him and put him to sleep.

Conversations went on very easily, against Amy’s expectations. They had a lot to talk about, possibly because they still needed to get to know each other.  
After her second glass of wine, Amy was confident enough to ask the burning question she had been thinking of, for a while.

“So, are the rumors true?”, she asked carefully. “Did you-know-who attack you?”

The others shared a quick glance, seemingly checking if someone disagreed with telling. As no one intervened, James said: “He tried. But we were prepared.”

Lily went on: “We used various protection spells on our house and made Sirius our secret keeper, so no one can find it, unless he tells them. We’re safe here, but have to watch out everywhere else.”

That’s why she has been unsure about Amy. Sirius wanted to reveal their secret to her. And she let him.

“Where is he now?”, Amy kept asking.

Remus began to explain: “He and his Death Eaters attacked us during a mission for the Order.”

“The Order?”

“Guys, don’t you think it’s a little early for disclosing that?”, Peter whispered, picking his fingernails.

“Don’t kick up a fuss, Wormtail”, Sirius shushed him.

“We’re all part of an organisation called The Order of the Phoenix. Dumbledore founded it years ago and we joined right after school”, Remus continued to explain.

“We could use a Potions master slash Mediwizard among us, actually”, James said invitingly.

“And what exactly does the Order do?”, Amy asked, more baffled than anxious.

“Guys”, Peter tried to stop them, in a breathy tone. “Enough!”

“Shut it Peter!”, Sirius simply clipped.

“We’re fighting Voldemort and his allies, trying to destroy them”, James told her.

Lily ran her finger on the rim of her wine glass and sighed. “You surely have heard of the prophecy about Harry. Since Voldemort found out about it, he tried to kill my boy, along with all of us. But we managed to fight him off. We damaged him pretty severely last time.”

“Damaged?”

“He escaped. I don’t think he’s dead, just very weak”, Lily went on.

“I tried to find them multiple times, but the Death Eaters always seem to be one step ahead”, James conceded and shook his head slightly.

Peter suddenly jumped from his chair, drawing everyone’s attention to him.  
“I said enough!”, he hissed. “You invite a stranger to our house and credulously tell her all of the things we swore to keep a secret, after we had dinner once?! And even ask her to join the Order, despite knowing nothing about her. She could be a spy!”

There was the awkward silence. They watched him open mouthed, as he stood there in rage, chest heaving heavily.

“I, I’m sorry”, Amy mumbled. “I didn’t -”

“Peter”, James tried to stay calm. “First of all, this isn’t your house. It’s Lily’s and mine.”

“I’m aware of that. Amy, this is nothing personal, but I can’t believe you guys just trust any stranger Sirius obviously just wants to shag”, it blurted out of him.

“What the fuck, Peter! Are you out of your mind?”, Sirius shouted, as he got up himself.

“Okay, I’m going to head home now”, Amy interrupted them, both angered and humiliated. “I’m sorry I caused this. Thank you for dinner, it was lovely, Lily. It’s been nice seeing all of you again. Peter.” She looked at him one last time, his face wrapped in a frown, before she headed to the door.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

“Wait! Don’t go”, Sirius tried to stop her, as she put on her coat. “I don’t know what’s gotten into him. He’s talking utter bullshit.”

“Well, I can’t know that. Because he’s right. We don’t know each other. You don’t know if I can be trusted. But I can assure you, I’m not a quick shag”, she replied, hastily buttoning up her jacket and walked outside.

Sirius followed her, grunting: “He knew that would make you leave. That’s why he said it. Bastard.”

Amy stopped on the doorstep, turned around to face him and said: “I’m certainly not staying if someone inside clearly doesn’t want me there.”

He sighed, reached into his back pocket, pulled out a pack of cigarettes and lit one with his wand, taking a drag before answering: “I understand that.” He blew out a cloud of smoke and continued: “But you know everyone else thinks you’re to be trusted. Peter will settle down. And I don’t see you as a quick shag.”  
He inhaled once more. “I mean. You know I’m always down, but you’re not like that.”

Amy let her head fall back and laughed at his comment. “You lied to me. Lily told me they didn’t want me to come in the first place.”

“True”, he mumbled. “But would you have agreed to come, if I said that it was only me that wanted you here?”

“Probably not”, she admitted.

“See? And aren’t you glad you came?”, he asked ironically.

“I was until five minutes ago”, Amy chuckled once more, while she took a step closer to him, glanced at his lips, were the cigarette lingered and took it from there, between her index and middle finger. His eyes followed her hand, his head neared hers slowly, as his view wandered up to her mouth.

“Good night, Sirius”, she whispered, brought the cigarette up to her mouth, took a drag and disapparated.


	3. Drinks on me?

Two days have passed since the dinner-incident and Amy could still feel the uncomfortable feeling of embarrassment crawling up her stomach at the thought of it. None of her old schoolmates have tried to get in touch with her since then, so she figured it would be best to forget about the whole situation.

It was Friday, almost time for lunch, when she helped Mr. Cavenar to rearrange the remedies and cosmetics in the shop window, already thinking of going home in the evening and running herself a hot bath to start the weekend right.

A scratching sound on the entrance door attracted her attention, so she left her boss for a minute, who was still pondering about the new presentation. Outside was an owl, carrying a medium-sized parcel, that looked far too big for it to carry, but was surprisingly light as she picked it up and offered a Sickle in return.  
Amy brought the box inside and asked: “Are you expecting a delivery, Leonard?”

“Hm? No, I don’t think so”, he mumbled while fumbling with the vials and bottles, trying to place them in the perfect position.

Amy put the box on the counter, unwrapped the yarn to open it and found a slice of cake, along with a letter inside. The cake appeared to be chocolate fudge and she could detect the letters H-A-P written on it in white tube icing. She took out the envelope, wiped away some bits of chocolate and opened it to read the letter.

“Dear Amy,

sorry again for the little scene on Wednesday - we all hope you’re not angry with us. I’m sending you a piece of my birthday cake as an apology.  
Peter made it and he’s the best baker I know. Don’t worry, it’s not poisoned. He apologizes as well and hopes you enjoy his creation.

Would you agree to join me for a drink at the Leaky Cauldron tonight, so I can apologize properly? If you don’t answer, I’ll await you there at 8.  
If you don’t want to come, please return the cake, so I know you’re not interested. (I know, that’s blackmailing, but some situations require enhanced measures.)

Hope to see you tonight,

Sirius”

She couldn’t help but chuckle - there went her bathtub plans.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

It was two minutes to eight when Amy walked towards the Leaky Cauldron. Snow landed softly on her hair and her breath was visible in the cold air, when she turned a corner and saw Sirius waiting in front of the pub.

She could see him smiling from afar when he looked down to the ground after spotting her and felt a spark in her chest as their eyes met again. Wasn’t it a little bit early for those kind of feelings?

“My parcel convinced you, I see”, Sirius said and laid his arm around her shoulder to pull her towards him for a hug.

“Well, you didn’t really leave me a choice”, Amy grinned. “You didn’t include an address to return it to.”

“That was part of the plan”, he whispered as he opened the door for her.

They went in and sat down at a small table in the back of the pub, the toasty air warming up Amy’s icy fingertips.

After ordering drinks from the waiter, Sirius asked: “So, how was the cake?”

“Really good! Peter is a very talented baker”, she replied.

“No poison?”

“Well, I may have tested a little chunk of it, before I ate it”, she said, making both of them laugh. “Happy belated birthday by the way. I’m sorry, I didn’t know.”

“Don’t worry. And thank you”, Sirius told her. “I don’t know when yours is either.”

“May 15th”, she said. “You’re 26 now, right?”

“I am. A weird age, isn’t it? Some people are already married with kids, others still live with their parents.”

“True. You’re not married with kids I assume, so do you live with your parents still?”, she asked sacastically.

“No”, he said, his expression went blank for a split second, before the waiter brought their drinks and he got distracted. “I’ve been living on my own for quite a while now.”

“Like me”, Amy said, clinked her glass with his and took a sip. “But sometimes I miss living with my parents. Them taking care of everything, no responsibilities. It was nice, wasn’t it?”

“Yeah, I don’t know if I can agree actually”, Sirius said, smiled and looked down into his glass. “I didn’t have a good relationship with my parents back then.”

“Mind if I ask why?”

“Well, the biggest issue was their loyalty to the dark side. Stubbornness, vanity and feeling as if they were royals because of our family name and blood status”, he explained and rubbed his palm across his stubble. “They treated me and my brother like princes. Like we somehow were better, more valuable, than others, just because we were Blacks. But they also expected us to behave like we were.”

“And then you got sorted into Gryffindor”, Amy concluded as she watched him.

“Correct. It was a perfect comeback. I always liked to piss them off, but I knew I belonged there anyway. I guess it went all downhill from there”, he said and exhaled a breathy laugh.

“Maybe they will change their minds someday. Maybe you can-”

“Uh-uh, impossible”, Sirius interrupted and took a big sip. “They’re dead. All three of them.”

Amy felt her face falling. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to… Fuck, I’m stupid.”

“You’re not. You didn’t know, that’s fine. Not your fault my life’s a mess”, he said and smiled at her. “It’s not quite the topic I imagined us talking about though, I’ll admit that.”

“What is it then?”, she asked before drinking.

“You know, the usual. Like how was work today?”

“Oh it was fine. I got a package from some guy, trying to win me over with cake.”

“Wow, what an idea. Did it work?”

“You know, cake hardly ever disappoints. So yes, it worked”, she said, downed the rest of her drink and held the empty glass with both hands.

Sirius wrapped his fingers around Amy’s, leant in and said: “Great. Another round on this guy’s wonderful ideas.”

They kept on chatting for countless further rounds, joking and laughing about old school stories, as well as funny moments from their current lives. Amy liked that they shared the same kind of humour, she was comfortable around him and it was easy to keep the conversation going.

It was past 2 a.m. when they decided it was time to go home. Sirius insisted on paying all of their drinks, it was part of his apology, he said.  
When they went outside, the crisp air flushed Amy’s cheeks and she felt how tipsy she really was.

“How are you going to get home?”, Sirius asked, his words slurred as well and pulled out a pack of cigarettes.

“I walk. I never apparate after drinking, but my flat is only fifteen minutes from here. You can join me to sober up a bit”, she told him. “I can call you a taxi from there, if you don’t feel well enough to disapparate”, she added to make sure it didn’t sound too much like an invitation.

They started walking and bumped their shoulders against each other’s occasionally. After the fifth time, Amy linked her arm with Sirius’ and mumbled: “We’re both tipsy it seems.”

“We are”, he said and laughed quietly, pulling her in a bit further, while taking a drag from the cigarette. He offered her one too, like last time, but this night he brought his own hand to her mouth and let her take a pull. She giggled before her lips touched the inside of his fingertips and she started to inhale the smoke.

“I never would have thought that a good girl, potions master, would enjoy smoking”, he said and shook his head grinning.

“Good girls can make bad life choices as well, you know”, she told him and pushed her shoulder against his, making them both stagger for a second.

When they reached her flat, Amy stood on the doorstep, equalizing their height-difference.

“I had a really good time tonight”, she said as she unhooked herself from him. “Thank you for the drinks.”

“Me too”, Sirius answered and closed the gap between them, holding her hands. “We could grab some lunch together next week if you want.”

“Sure”, she said and caught him staring at her lips.

His grip around her hands tightened a bit, before he placed them on his shoulders and neared her face with his.  
His mouth touched the right side of her upper lip, just once, slow and soft, before he pulled back and looked into her eyes again. Amy’s smile seemingly convinced him to go in again, now brushing over her lips with his. Her fingers dug into the fabric on his shoulders as they stood in front of her flat, kissing so slowly it felt like an eternity and she could feel her heart beat inside her head, a million sparks crackling all over her skin.  
He tasted like whiskey and cigarettes, his scent a mixture of leather and wood, his grip tight around her waist, when he started to place kisses on her neck, let his weight press her against the entrance door and his hands wandered downwards slowly.

That was when she froze for a moment. Did he want her to invite him inside? She pushed him off slowly and said: “I’m sorry, that’s a little fast for me.”

Sirius cleared his throat and took a step back. “Sorry, I got distracted. Didn’t want to overwhelm you.”

“Don’t worry”, she said and put a strand of hair behind her ear. “I tend to be cautious with guys like-” She interrupted herself. Did she really just say that?

“Guys like what? Like me?”, he asked and furrowed his brows.

“Sorry, no. I’m drunk, I don’t know what I’m saying.”

“No, no. Go on, let me know what you think of me”, he requested in a huff.

“Sirius, it’s not like that. It’s just… You had a reputation back in school.”

“Oh, so you think I’m the same person I was back then? And I would spend a whole night talking, telling you about my family, just to get inside your pants?”

“No, I… I’m sorry Sirius, don’t get mad. I was with a guy once and it all went too fast. He didn’t care for me as much as I did for him and I don’t want to make the same mistakes. He was just -”

“Like me, wasn’t he?”

“No, I wanted to say-”

“You know what? Fuck that! Fuck people who thought I was racist for my heritage, fuck people who thought I was big headed for what my friends did and fuck people who think I’m still the same person I was at sixteen. So no Amy, I’m not mad, just fuck off and leave me be if you think I don’t care for anyone, cause maybe that makes you not worth being cared about.”

He turned around, too fast for her to hold him back, took a few steps on the pavement and disapparated, not able to hear any of Amy’s apologies.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Two weeks have passed and Amy still hasn’t got a sign of Sirius or any of his friends. She was at work again, trying to forget what happened, yet couldn’t help but think about her last encounter with him.  
She was still mad at herself for saying those stupid things, but got more angry with Sirius each day, for twisting things she didn’t mean and being overly dramatic about it. They were drunk, surely they both took things differently as intended.  
Was it her turn to send him a slice of cake now? Or would he hate her forever? She didn’t even know his address, so there went her possibility to apologize.  
The only way would be to send something to Lily and James, but that seemed pathetic. Maybe she could ask Remus about him, when he would come and get his potion next month.

Just when she thought of Remus, the shop’s door slammed open and he stormed in, his chest heaving and shirt covered in red stains.

“Amy!”, Remus called. “I’m sorry, but you have to help us. We’ve been attacked. Most of us are alright, but Sirius is badly injured. We tried to help him as best as we could, but we need a professional.”

“What?”, she exclaimed and looked for her emergency bag. “Leonard, I-”

“It’s okay Amy”, Mr. Cavenar said. “Go! Be quick!”


	4. Dittany

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Vivid explanation of wounds and overall gore in this chapter! If you’re too uncomfortable reading that sort of thing, shoot me a message and I’ll tell you from where it’s safe to read.

“Where is he?”, Amy asked Remus as she fumbled on the zipper of her bag and hastily threw in every healing potion she could find.

“I’m not able to tell you”, Remus whispered and glanced over to Cavenar. “So I assume you know where?”

“I do”, she responded, closed the bag and looked at Remus, who offered his hand to hold on to for apparating. It was smeared with crusty bloodstains like his shirt, making her wonder if this was all Sirius’ blood alone. If it was, they should not waste another minute.

Amy turned around and looked over to her boss, who watched them wide-eyed behind the counter. 

“Don’t say anything. Go”, Cavenar said, as if he knew she wanted to apologize. “You know where you can find me, if you need something.”

She nodded, inhaled deeply and took Remus’ hand. They twirled around each other in a black void and appeared on the Potter’s doorstep a moment after.

“What happened?”, Amy asked as she followed Remus inside.

“I’ll explain later”, he told her. “Quick, get in.”

She could hear him as soon as she stepped into the entrance room of the house. Tired screams and heavy breathing echoed through the ground floor, each room’s door stood open, the atmosphere of their home completely different to the time she had been there before.  
She rushed through the living room and into the kitchen, where the noises came from, freezing for a second when she saw Sirius lying shirtless on the kitchen table, James on his right side, pressing down soaked towels on his upper arm.  
A thick trail of blood spread from the door, where they must have apparated with him, to the table he was now lying on, drops of it splattered onto the sides of the counters. Someone had stepped into the puddle and had dragged it all across the room, red footprints and streaks covered the floor, making it look like a crime scene.

Lily and Peter stood on the other sides of the table, Peter holding Sirius’ legs, Lily next to his face trying to calm him down, but both looked like they didn’t know what to do anymore.

“Thank Godric”, James whispered through gritted teeth when he saw Amy. “He fainted three times. Help him, please help him. They tried to cut it off. They fucking tried to cut his arm off.”

Sirius’ wheezes were loud and fast, almost animalistic, his eyes hooded as he watched Amy nearing him. She quickly stepped closer, put her bag on the table next to his legs, tried to remain calm and asked: “What curse?”

“What, I… I don’t remember”, James said and looked over to Remus, who shook his head as well.

“Sectumsempra I think”, Peter said and held Sirius’ feet more firmly.

“Okay.” Amy went up to his arm, James stepped back to make room for her and pulled off the towels.

What she saw was worse than she had imagined, despite all the blood. There was a clean cut starting below his shoulder, going downwards almost to his elbow. It went through skin, flesh and torn muscles, even reaching the bone, which has been injured as well. He was still bleeding profusely, so Amy snapped her head over to Peter and instructed: “Dittany essence. Quick!”

While he looked for it in her bag, Amy tried to close the wound with the counter spell, pointing her wand directly at the gaping flesh. Sirius’ stare shifted from Amy’s wand to her face repeatedly, his breathing got even quicker in anticipation of more pain in healing.  
“Vulnera sanentur”, she sang softly for about ten times, until the bleeding finally stopped and the cut started to slowly close. She put drops of Dittany on every inch of his upper arm, trying to ignore his whimpers when the liquid touched his skin, but couldn’t help but flinch as well.

Now that he wasn’t in mortal danger anymore she could concentrate on soothing the pain. She put the essence back into her bag and fished out a small purple bottle.

“Sirius this is ‘Relevisom’s Draught’. It’s going to make you sleepy and will take away the pain. Open your mouth please”, she said as she unscrewed the bottle.

He did as she said without hesitation, still panting rapidly. Once she had dropped one full pipette of the potion into his mouth, he let out a sigh of relief, his breathing slowed down a bit and his lids got heavier with each second.  
Amy wondered why he fought the urge to sleep, struggling to keep his eyes open, but it seemed like something was still bothering him. He lifted his left arm with his last ounce of strength and swung it over to Amy’s side, touched her hand with the tips of his fingers, before opening his mouth again, but his eyes closed before he could say a word.

She took his hand in hers and held it tightly, reached for his face with her other one, making sure not to lean on his wounded arm and brushed some strands of hair out of his face, then laid the backside of her hand on his forehead to check the temperature. His skin was scorching hot, a thin layer of sweat spread all over his now calm face. She looked down at him compassionately, thought about the upcoming recovery process and frowned, before she was reminded she was still holding his hand, as well as caressing his cheek when James cleared his throat. Amy let go of him, took a step back and started to put the draught back into her bag, while the other three watched her silently. 

“He needs to rest. You can levitate him into a bed now, it should be safe”, she said, grabbed the Dittany Essence and put it on the table. “Apply this once a day all over his arm. I’d say he’ll need at least a week of rest before he can start to try and move it again. And he’s got a fever. That’s good, because it eliminates viruses and bacteria. Just make sure it doesn’t get too high. You can use this potion to treat it in case. And-”

“Thank you Amy”, Lily sighed, her voice almost breaking, before she went up to her and hugged her. “Thank you for helping us. I don’t know what would have happened if it weren’t for you.”

“It’s alright”, Amy said and squeezed her tight. 

“We’ve tried everything. I tried every healing spell I know, every potion we had here, but nothing worked”, Lily went on as she let go.

“You don’t know this curse? And who invented it?”, Amy asked and was met with confused faces. They all shook their heads. “It’s Snape’s.”

Lily’s face fell at the same time as Remus and Peter began to murmur angry cusses.  
“Fucking hell, Snape”, James hissed. “I knew he was one of them.”

“Didn’t you recognize who attacked him?”

“No, those cowards always wear masks to hide their faces”, James replied hardly able to hide his anger.

“It doesn’t mean it was him who attacked Sirius, his curse seems to be well known among dark wizards and witches”, Amy told them. “I’ve seen damage from this spell before. But never so severe.”

James mumbled something about killing someone, so Lily interrupted him: “Would you bring Sirius upstairs? You can lay him in our bed, we can sleep on the couch tonight.”

The three did what she asked them to and levitated Sirius, who was still asleep, upstairs.  
Amy felt the adrenaline leaving her body as her hands started to shake. “I’m going to leave now”, she said and attempted to pick up her things. “You can always ask for help if you’re in need.”

“No”, Lily replied. “Stay for a bit, please. At least wash off the blood and let me make you coffee.” 

“Okay then”, Amy gave in and walked over to the kitchen sink where they both washed their hands. “Where’s Harry?”

“He’s sleeping in his room upstairs. I put a silencing spell outside of it, so he wouldn’t hear us”, Lily explained as she put the coffee on the stove. “A child shouldn’t be growing up with things like this. We always try to not let him know, but I’m so scared of the day he will find out his parents are hiding like prey.”

“Lily”, Amy mumbled in sympathy and started to rub her arm. 

“It’s not fair”, Lily whispered and wiped away a tear from the corner of her eye. “Don’t get me wrong, I will always protect my son, but I wish we could just live a normal life.”

“I can’t imagine how hard it must be”, Amy said as she heard the guys coming back into the kitchen.

Peter cleaned the remains with a series of spells, while the other two tried to wash off most of the stains from their skin and Lily filled four large cups with coffee.

“Does anyone else want a sip of firewhiskey?”, Remus asked and offered a flask. Peter and James held their cups his way, so he poured some in, before doing the same to his own. Lily said she had to check if Harry was still sleeping and left, so he looked over to Amy, who shook her head, even if she felt weak in the knees and could have used some alcohol to calm down.

“You prefer cigarettes, am I right?”, Remus asked and took a pack out of his back pocket. “I snatched them from Sirius, he doesn’t need them now anyway.”

Amy breathed a single laugh and took the pack. “I really could use one right now.”

Remus went outside in the backyard with her, where she lit a cigarette, took a drag and threw her head back before releasing the smoke from her lungs.  
“How do you know I smoke?”, she asked him.

“Sirius told me”, he said and took a sip from the mug. 

She spotted a tiny smirk on his lips, so she asked: “Did he tell you anything else? Like what happened the last time we met?”

“Oh, your drunk fight? Yes, he told us. And I told him he’s always looking for drama.”

Amy flicked away some cold ash and said: “Apparently, yes. But I’ve said some pretty shit things too. I wanted to apologize, but didn’t know how to contact him. And after two weeks of silence I thought he didn’t want me to anyway.”

“Well, you’re both here now, so”, he said and took another sip while raising his brows. There was this smirk again.

“He’s asleep”, she said sarcastically.

“True, but he won’t be sleeping forever. If you didn’t give him a potion overdose intentionally.”

She laughed quietly and inhaled once more before saying: “I didn’t, don’t worry. But I’m not going to force him to hear me out when he can’t escape or defend himself.”

“I don’t think he would mind actually”, Remus replied. “Don’t tell him I said that, but he wanted to talk to you from the morning after your little fight. He just didn’t know how.”

“Really?”

Remus nodded and smiled at her. “I’m going to check if James and Peter need a refill”, he said and went back inside, leaving Amy alone with her thoughts and the halfway smoked cigarette.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

She felt more relaxed when she went back in and found the guys sitting in the living room. Lily was seemingly still in Harry’s room, so Amy sat down next to them.

“Thank you again”, James said and Remus raised his cup to show his gratitude.

“Yes thank you Amy”, Peter mumbled from the other couch. “I’m sorry I didn’t trust you from the start and for the dumb shit I said last time.”

He offered his hand and smiled, so she shook it and replied: “It’s alright Peter.”

The four of them ended up sitting in silence, staring into their empty cups. After a while James intended to get up and said: “I’m going to look what Lily’s doing.”

Amy held him back and said: “I think she just wants to spend some time with Harry. She would never say it out loud, but I think she’d like to pretend that today never happened and keep Harry from seeing Sirius in that state.”

“You’re right”, James sighed. “You’re absolutely right. And we have another mission tonight, where I have to leave them behind again. I wish we could call it off, but we can’t risk to let them know we’re weakened.”

“So she’ll have to look after Harry and Sirius?”, Amy asked.

“I’m afraid so, yes”, James replied and rubbed his brows with his index and middle finger.

“Shit”, Amy whispered and watched the last sip of cold coffee running back and forth in her mug. “That’s going to sound stupid and it’s probably the last thing Sirius wants, but should I take care of him for a while?”

Their expressions couldn’t have been more different. Peter pretended like he wasn’t there and kept on staring into his cup, Remus wore his stupid smirk again and James beamed at her: “That would be a giant help. I thought of this earlier but didn’t want to ask you for such a huge favour, after everything you’ve done.”

“I think Lily deserves some relief, doesn’t she?”, Amy said. “I’m going to ask Sirius if he’s okay with it when he’s awake.”

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

She went upstairs an hour later, opened the door to James’ and Lily’s bedroom quietly and found Sirius still asleep in bed. She walked up to him, checked his arm and started to bandage it. The skin was still sore and the cut hadn’t healed completely, but it was far better than hours before.  
She laid the back of her hand on his forehead again and noticed that he was still hot, however not as bad as it had been.

Sirius opened his eyes slowly to the touch on his face, blinked tiredly and looked around the room in confusion.

“Hey”, Amy said softly and sat down on the mattress next to him.

“Hey”, he croaked when he recognized her.

“How do you feel?”, she asked.

“You saved me”, he said slowly and looked down at his arm. “I felt like I was dying. How long did I sleep?”

“Two hours maybe”, she told him and watched as he ran his left hand over the bandage and hissed as soon as he touched it. 

“Fuck, it still hurts”, he moaned.

“Yeah don’t ruin the bandage, I just put it on", she joked and earned a tired smile from him.

His expression went blank again when their eyes met and he tried to sit up, but ended up wincing and suppressing a cry.

“No, no, no, don’t sit up”, she instructed and laid her hand on his chest to gently push him back down.

“Okay okay”, he gave in and exhaled sharply. He took a few deep breaths and went on: “Listen, I wanted to apologize.”

“Me too”, she said.

“I’m sorry I threw a fit. I was drunk and I’m a drama queen when I’m drunk. Well, Remus said I’m also one when I’m sober but I think it’s not always that bad.”

Amy laughed and said: “I’m sorry for comparing you to some douche bag from the past. I still don’t know why I said that and I’m embarrassed about it. You’re obviously not the same kid you were back in school. You’ve changed.”

“For better or for worse?”, he asked provokingly.

“I’m not sure yet”, she grinned. “So are we good?”

“We are”, he said and reached for her hand. His thumb ran softly over her knuckles and he held it a little tighter when he said: “Thank you for saving me.”

“No problem. You should rest for about a week and try not to move your arm.”

“I don’t think I’d be able to without passing out on the spot.”

“Good”, she laughed. “Oh yeah, I talked to James earlier. They have to go on a mission again tonight. Lily’s alone with Harry and I think she doesn’t want him to notice any of this”, she said and pointed to his arm.

“Yes sure. I can apparate home”, he responded.

“I don’t think you’ll be able to take care of yourself during the next days. So I said I would look after you for a while. If you want to”, she offered and squeezed his hand now.

“Okay. One question though.”

“What’s that?”

“Your place or mine?”


End file.
